Leave It To Me Starchild, I'll Bend These Beams With My Mind!

I attended a highly enjoyable backyard party and screening of of Kiss Meets The Phantom Of The Park last night.  If you haven't seen this film, the general premise is as follows:  An evil genius who builds animatronic robots for a theme park sees KISS (who are performing at the park) as a threat to his livelihood and sets out to destroy them.  Unfortunately for him, KISS has a box of mystical "talismen" which give them other-worldly powers.

In reflecting upon the movie, I realized that it was never clearly explained exactly WHAT super powers each band member has. 

Here's what I could gather:

Paul Stanley (Starchild) - shoots a laser beam out of his eye.  This laser allows him to listen to distant conversations and read minds.  He also is smooth with the ladies.

Gene Simmons (The Demon) - breathes fire (of course), super-human strength.  He also appears to be able to have some sort of mind-reading skills. Growls and speaks with a bad tape-echo effect.

Ace Frehley (Space Ace) - can teleport himself and the band using a ZZ Top-style hitchhiking thumb move, can move objects telepathically. Says "Ack!" a lot for no reason.

Peter Criss (Cat Man) - tells corny cat-related one-liners.

The moral of this story? Nobody cares about the drummer.



Here's a link to some highlights from movie: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I67yUxhSbPc

Trivia:  Depending on the story, Peter Criss was either too wasted, had too thick of a Brooklyn accent or just plain didn't show up for the voice over sessions.  All of his lines were dubbed in by voice over actor Michael Bell.  You might recognize his voice as Zan from the SuperFriends and various Scooby-Doo, Smurfs, GI Joe and other cartoon characters.