So, you guys are gonna headline!

Often times, club owners, bookers and so-called "promoters" try to sell you on the idea of "headlining" a show. In layman's terms, "headlining" means going on last. Now, if you are Bon Jovi or Lady Gaga or the buzz band du jour, of course you're headlining. Everyone is there to see you, no matter how late you go on. This isn't the case with being a local band slugging it out in bars and clubs.

-  Most nights there's 3-4 bands (at cool places) and 5-6 bands (at shitty places).. that means if you're "headlining" you go on at 12:30-1am. By this time, most people have either left or are busy trying to seal the deal with some chick/dude before closing time.

 - By laying the "headliner" title on you, the "promoter" (who does nothing to promote the show) expects you to draw a shit-ton of people. In our case, most of our fans and friends are in their 30's and 40's..they're not coming out to your club if they know we're going on at 1am.

- Most other bands play too long and take their sweet time setting up and breaking down before and after their sets (especially if they have props, effects or bad punk rock attitudes). This practice pushes the "headline" slot back even farther into the wee hours..

To me, the true "headline" slot is 2nd.  There's one band ahead of you to break in the room and allow some time for people to get some drinks in their belly - yet still be awake enough to enjoy the show. My band and I are also still sober enough to rock your ass off - and then we can sit back, drink, relax and watch the other bands.. maybe even the "headliner".

Somebody Get Me A Doctor

What's wrong with me? I'm almost 40 years old, but still have the mind of a 15 year old metal head. I can't shake it. I have dumb rock n' roll on my brain almost all of the time (when I'm not thinking about sex or beer or worrying about money). Let me welcome you to a day in the life:

August 3, 2011

8:35am: Passed a street in Boulder called "Moorhead". All I could think is that someone should climb up that pole and stick a "t" between the two "o"s.

9:40 am:  Stopped at a light behind a car with a plates ending in "TYR". This is the title of a bad Black Sabbath album from 1990.

12:10 pm: Became involved in discussion with two 15 year old kids about the awesomeness of Dokken and The Scorpions. They were impressed that I saw both bands live "back in the day".

12:30 pm: Stopped at a railroad crossing, waiting for a long, slow train to pass. I couldn't' get the Doobie Brothers' "Long Train Runnin" riff out of my head. (OK, it' kind of a wimpy tune, but it's still a cool riff)

4:50 pm: Saw a Facebook post linking to an article about taxes or something. The author: Randi Rhoads. I didn't read it, I just though about a polka-dotted Flying V and the "Mr. Crowley" guitar solo.

7:00 pm: Band practice! - singing heavy tunes about girls and rockin' - with lots of bad rhymes and guitar solos.

(Note: These are just some highlights. I'm not including the time I spent today teaching guitar at rock camp or talking to my band about music or listening to my iPod in the car)

I just wish I could find a way to make some real money out of this affliction. Maybe Eddie Trunk or Chuck Klosterman could use an assistant?